i decided i need to be listening to more music again... i havnt been doing so as much lately as i used to.
i also decided that i need to be more sane than i have been lately as well....

so blah blah.
im almost 18 now....
and im almost out on my own now.... soon.
and im guna flop on my butt and go splat like a lil birdy knocked out of its nest.

im like a lil dead bird.


thats very comforting....


*sits and listens to music*

i tried super hard to find tickets to go see Panic!at the disco and The Academy is... at the avalon next month.

but i couldnt. which is saddening. cuz i rele wanted to go.

*sigh*


im being told by people lately that im an emotional wreck and need help... cuz its been becoming more apparent lately than usual.....

i need to stop that.

the being more apparently psychotic.

its supposedly not very becoming.





but life isnt very becoming either....


how does "getting help" ever really help any ways.
its a little self pittying and like admiting ur a failure at sanity.

rite? who wants to fail.

i did good on my midterms today. (of course i got alota help on them between my cheat notes and my teacher and two of my classmates... lol....)

hmm......
*realizes whut i jus said*

supposedly help is godd huh...
i just proved myself wrong.

thus failing again... lol. thats cute.


my rents hav been told i need help too... as if thats not embarrasing enuf, ha....

but they wouldnt send me for help.

they say they dont want me goin and telln psychiatrists that things are their fault or making them look like bad parents.



im so sick of my parents.

i wish theyd divorce.



divorce me 2.


*sits and listens again*


i want sum1 here to love me rite now.

but i want to be alone even more than that.



im like a lil dead baby bird who jus pushed herself out of her nest, failed at sanity, and is now splattered on lifes cement floors.....



lovely lovely.